Analilia (cuzmickeyluvsya) wrote in iheartmybf,
Analilia
cuzmickeyluvsya
iheartmybf

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Don't I deserve to be happy?

Ugh!! Dads!! Jawa you were right....dads are wierd. They say they care, but they don't show it. He's very confusing. He has told me from day one that he wanted me to be absolutely sure about taking that step with Stevan. I am. 100%!!! So he gave me until January (October was the month we got engaged) to think it over and that by then he would give us full support on our decision. It's that time now, and he's not doing his part of the deal. He doesn't want me getting married which hurts deeply. I'm doing everything he wanted me to do in regards to the engagement. Wanted to meet his family, I brought them. He wanted to know about any ideas of where we wanted it, we went and brought forth the information he needed. He wanted to have a one-on-one talk with Stevan, and I brought him to do so...but no...he never even mentions that "talk" he wanted. Now, that he wanted to have Stevan and his mom over for dinner so we can talk about the wedding plans, and he doesn't want to come now that the plans are set for the dinner Thursday night. So now he's backing out. I need to start planning, and I need to do it all now. I can't wait any longer. Other wise I won't have time to do anything. *sigh* Why is he doing this?? Why does he act like this with me? Why doesn't he talk to me at all? About how it bothers him or anything? I'm just an invisible person to him. Am I not his daughter? It doesn't feel like it. It's like he can talk to anyone but me. Whenever I ask him something or even want to start a conversation, he ignores me or just gets bugged by it. I hate it!! I really do!! I hate that he treats me like this. That I'm nothing, then when we all argue he blames me for doing everything wrong!!I get blamed for the fact that my own father doesn't even talk to me, that I did something wrong for him not to do so. That I need to start talking to him so we can talk like we used to. I have!! I'm sick and tired of everyone telling me it's ME!! I'm trying!! Can't they see that?? I've put in 150% and I get nothing back.Why? I don't know. But I do know this, NOTHING is going to sto me from marrying Stevan, NOTHING!! I love him!! We want to get married. Everyone else but my dad and Carlos don't seem to be supportive!! I deserve to be Happy! I've never been with any man in any way, Ive done everything that my parents have wanted me to do. Im going to school. I don't do drugs, Im not pregant and single, Im doing basically everything by the book................don't I need to be happy?? Don't I deserve to fall in love and marry the one I want? *sigh* People irritate me :\
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